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How to Become A Swinger: 10 Steps You Need to Follow


become a swinger

If you've always felt as though traditional dating isn’t really your vibe, then fear not, there could be an option that works for you and your lifestyle. You see, the truth is, monogamy just doesn’t work for everyone.

No matter how much therapy, energy, and effort you can put in, you may find that you just can’t be completely happy in a monogamous relationship, despite loving your partner.


One of the things you may choose to consider is non-monogamy, which comes in many forms. You probably know terms like polyamory, open relationships, and swinging.


In this article, we will be exploring what you need to know before becoming a swinger. Make no mistake, there are many misconceptions about those who choose to engage in the swinging lifestyle, so we’re here to discuss how to be a swinger, so you can decide if it’s something that would work for you.

What is a swinger?


If you and your partner are in a swinging relationship, it essentially means that you have given each other permission to engage in sexual activities with people outside of your relationship - usually for the purpose of spicing up your sex life.


When it comes to swinging, generally, you’ll be having sex with other people in the same room, so you can share in the experience and make it a really hot encounter to look back on for years to come - or until the next time you both feel the urge to do it again.

Before you think about becoming a swinger, there are a few things you need to know. In this article, we will be exploring the 10 steps you need to follow. After that, you should know how to be a swinger.


10 steps you need to follow before becoming a swinger


1. Talk about it openly with your partner

If you think becoming a swinger is something you’d like to try out, but you’re not sure where your partner stands, the only way to find out is by talking to them. If you instantly dismiss it as something they’ll never go for without asking them, how will you ever grow as a couple?

2. Make sure you are both comfortable and ready to proceed


This is one of the most essential steps in becoming a swinger. To protect your relationship, it is critical that both of you are on the same page. Opening up your relationship from monogamous to non-monogamous in any way, shape, or form, can be daunting. You both need to be 100% comfortable and excited about what you’re entering into.


3. Establish your boundaries


This is another key factor. Talk about all of the possibilities that may happen, and make it clear to your partner what you are and aren’t into. For instance, it may be a boundary for you that there is no kissing on the mouth, or there’s nothing that happens with other people unless you’re both in the room. Whatever your boundaries are, make them clear and most importantly, respect them.


4. Sign up for some swinger websites


Where better to learn how to be a swinger than our old friend, the internet? With a wealth of forums, resources, and swingers sites accessible to you and your partner, why not dive in today? Once you know this is something you’d both like to do, sign up for some dating sites, flirt, mingle, and meet up with some sexy playmates and see where it takes you.


5. Discuss the swinging lifestyle with other swingers

One of the best ways to find out about anything in life is to talk to the people who know best - the ones living and breathing it on a daily basis. Swinging is absolutely no different, so don’t be afraid to reach out to a swinging couple, meet up for a coffee, and pick their brain. Ask them all of the questions you’re dying to ask and prepare for an invaluable insight into what you’ll be getting yourself into.


6. Attend a munch


“What on earth is a munch?”, I hear you ask. Well, a munch is a social get-together hosted by swingers, for swingers. It’s not a swingers' party, but rather a catch-up in a public venue such as a pub, for a drink, laugh, and chat with like-minded people.

A munch is the perfect setting for you and your partner to get involved in the wonderful world of swinging and make some new friends, and it won’t be long before the party invites roll in.


7. Have a date night at a sex party


It’s certainly a lot more eventful than the old favourite, dinner and a movie, isn't it? Yes, a sex party is exactly what it sounds like - a social gathering where people are having sex with other people. Attend one of these, and it’s highly likely that you and your partner will wind up having sex with a stranger.

Having said that, you are under no obligation to participate if you’re not feeling it. You can just check it out on your first visit, and get your head around it, to see whether becoming a swinger is really what you and your partner want.


8. Introduce yourself to others in a strategic way

Being confident and friendly is important at one of these parties, just like at any other party or social event. If you’re looking to get involved, you won’t get anywhere by standing on the wall.

It’s usually a good idea to send the most charming person out of yourself and your partner to strike up the first connection with strangers. Then, once the ice has been broken, you can all get together and have some fun.

9. Choose your wardrobe wisely


It’s a common misconception from the outside world that swingers just turn up to sex parties and clubs adorned in lingerie and BDSM outfits, ready to go. In reality, on a regular night, swingers will usually turn up in very “normal” (perhaps a little sexy) clothing.


If you want to know how to be a swinger, the first rule is to learn to dress like one. The best rule of thumb is to wear what you would wear to a regular nightclub. Make sure it is comfortable and easy to remove.


10. Be sure to pack your own toys


There will of course be no shortage of sex toys at a party, but there’s no guarantee there will be enough to go around at all times. It’s important to be prepared for anything, and what a buzzkill it would be to be left high and dry with nothing to play with. In addition, it is simply seen as good etiquette to bring your own toys, which will help you in becoming a swinger who is invited to parties.

All the best and happy swinging


If becoming a swinger is something you’ve decided to pursue, then hopefully this article has taught you some useful tips in terms of how to be a swinger. All the best, and happy swinging!

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